Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
