Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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