idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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