You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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