Will you blow on my dice?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
