Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
