i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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