hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
