i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
