Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize