woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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