how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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