White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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