He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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