theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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