I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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