I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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