11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
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You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
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We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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