I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
