My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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