is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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