they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
