where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
