Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
