PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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