i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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