I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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