Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
