We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
