I will die if light touches me.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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