He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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