Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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