I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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