dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Me too!
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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