man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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