I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
handjob tips. give me some.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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