What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
