goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
