Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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