somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
