im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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