2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize