Define "chronic" masturbator.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We don't watch enough power rangers
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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