Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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