Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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