I just saw a hot homeless man
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
