ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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