Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
