i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
