at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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