We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
