There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
