is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
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no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
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I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize