How'd it feel making her break her religion?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
