he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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