I'm gonna have a badass scar
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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