I just cut my nipple shaving
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
