some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
