I want you more than these girls want KFC
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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