i think my tv is drunk
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
