That's intense
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Ladies don't puke and tell
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
