My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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