I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
