so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
