after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize