I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
