jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
there's paper in my vomit.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
